Note: The following words are not the product of a melodramatic mind. In fact, they are written with complete and utter sincerity, using only the facts and figures presented to the author. They are not meant to come across as needy, complaining or even affirmation-seeking. They are merely personal observations, and should only be taken as such.
Isn’t it great to start with that kind of disclaimer? Makes you wonder what you’re really in for if you decide to keep reading.
In ignoring this blog, I have had a number of epiphanies concerning it. I wanted to take the time to share those epiphanies, and possibly even save a few words near the end to describe the direction I’m planning to take this little writing endeavor.
First, an update or two.
I am still writing stories. However, you don’t care.
I am still writing, recording and performing songs. However, you don’t care.
And that’s fine, really. I don’t mind. I’m neither a famous author nor a recording artist, so the process of creating these works isn’t nearly as interesting as it would be if I had millions of dollars or even semi-national fame. I struggled with this at first, but I have come to accept it. In general, it’s just not a very interesting topic. If I was talking more about my actual pursuits and the labors of trying to get published, that might be different. However, all I have ever discussed are my stories themselves — stories that the majority of you have never read. How could I expect anyone to be interested?
I try too hard to keep them protected. Even posting excerpts is hard for me to do, since I am so used to writing them and then hiding them away somewhere never to be found. When I started this blog, I mentioned that I had several stories already finished and ready to be submitted for publication. That was true. However, I have not submitted a single one. And why haven’t I?
I have no idea. Perhaps I am afraid of rejection. Perhaps I am afraid I will be expected to follow up with something better, something newer, something fresh, something original, “something” plus any one of a hundred other buzz words that people like to use.
Excuses. That’s all they are. But I’m getting off topic.
I set out to document the story of a writer struggling to get his work published. In both that pursuit and the documentation of it, I have failed. And I can live with that. It isn’t permanent. I know that I will publish a story one day. I may even have a book or two floating out there in time. However, focusing on my failure does not help my pursuit. All it does is make success seem that much farther away from where I am.
All this to say one thing: things are changing around here.
Looking at facts and figures, numbers and statistics, it seems that my most popular entries are the ones that deal with my personal life. When I write about standing outside my wife’s hospital room, you read it. When I write about burying my dog, you read it. When I write about an idea for a series of fantasy novels, you couldn’t care less. This, my friends, is a lesson. It tells me that you are more interested in me and my life story than you are in the words I struggle to piece together to form a compelling narrative.
And that’s fine.
You want more of me? Very well. That is exactly what you will get.